"But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation."
Why is it that we so often ask people to make an oath, or to swear by something, or to promise that what they say is true? It's because we ultimately believe that everyone is a liar! We know (because we've done it ourselves) that people tend to speak "half truths" or they leave out important parts or they exaggerate to make a point...and they do it often! We do it without even thinking. It's absolutely sobering to me how flippantly we say things that are simply not the truth. And of course once you catch someone not speaking Truth, you have difficulty ever trusting them again. But, we don't need to make any oaths or promises it says! Just speak the truth.
This verse starts with the words "above all", meaning here's the most important part of what I'm saying. Why is it SO important that we are truth-tellers? Later in the verse, it says "so that you may not fall under condemnation." If we are not telling the truth, we are sinning -- no matter how "small" it may seem to us, it's still sin to God. How often in our "explanations" of our yes and no, do we say a small lie? It's tempting to do when we feel that we need to give an explanation and we aren't sure that the REAL reason will be "good enough" for the person with whom we are speaking. So, we sin, and we lie to concoct a "good enough" reason, and we have the approval of men...but we have disobeyed God and tarnished our character.
Here's something that might be new for us to think about: you don't owe people an explanation. God is telling you that right here. Just say "yes" or "no". Does this sounds familiar:
"Are you free for lunch today?"
"No, I have to clean my house, then I have to go get my son from school and take him to the doctor, and then...."
We always feel the need to justify why we can't do something. For me, this is rooted in my people-pleasing nature. I don't want them to be mad at me or think that I don't like them or have their feelings hurt, so I explain my "no." But truly, Paul gives a great example in 1 Corinthians 4:3 when he says, "As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority." I pray that the only opinion that would matter to us would be our Lord's!
This is especially true and difficult when someone asks you if you would do something that you don't want to do.
"Would you be on the ____ Committee?"
"No, I can't...I ________________" (What reason do you come up with to justify your "no"? And how much of it is 100% true, because you feel the need to make a reason that the other person would think is a "good enough" reason to say no?)
I used to do this all the time! But, God is telling us that we don't owe people an explanation, and I am beginning to believe this and it is so liberating!
What if we answered this way instead:
"Would you be on the ____ Committee?"
(With a smile) "No, I'm sorry I can't. But thank you for thinking of me."
Well, what if they ask our reasons? First of all, it's not their business, so they should HONOR your "no", but if they continue with, "Oh, why can't you?" You can still just say, "I'm just not going to be able to, but I do thank you for thinking of me." (still smiling)
And what about you? Do you HONOR peoples' "no" when they give it? We should!
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