Well hello! Here we are -- August 1st. It has been one busy summer, and my best intentions of continuing my blog throughout the summer was thwarted by the lack of consistency in my schedule and, sadly to say, a lack of consistency in my attitude to seek Christ with my whole heart.
July was not a good blog month for me, and I was less-driven to get up early and meet with God because I knew that some of my actions were not in-line with His will. It's amazing how that happens, isn't it? When we know we're not doing right, we run and hide. Adam and Eve did, and so do we...even still. I hid from the Lord during much of the summer because of some attitudes and perspectives I had. Due to the very personal nature and the identities of those involved and the "newness" of the situation, I cannot go into the details of what happened. But, there I was. Hiding and hating how I felt, but not knowing how to lift my bitterness off of myself. Yet, in His mercy, God whispered to me just a little bit everyday. I was stuck in the muck of my own sinful nature. Yet, He gently pulled me out of my pit, and His words in scripture began to leap off the page to me until I was...convicted. Ouch. Let me assure you, that was not a fun feeling. I felt the weight of how I had behaved and what I had said and what I did or did not do. I sensed God's discipline in my life, but also trusted that God disciplines those He loves (Proverbs 3:11-12), and He was going to make me more like His Son in this painful and humbling process. May I show you some parts of Proverbs 3? It has such new meaning to me this week...(parentheses and bolded words are my emphasis):
1 My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you prosperity.
(How? What should I do?)
3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
(Why that?)
4 Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.
9 Honor the LORD with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;
10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new wine.
(Okay, and what happens if I don't do this...discipline? That doesn't sound fun.)
11 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline
and do not resent his rebuke,
12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father[b] the son he delights in.
(Why would I want God's discipline?)
13 Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, (through being disciplined)
the man who gains understanding,
14 for she is more profitable than silver
and yields better returns than gold.
15 She is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.
16 Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.
17 Her ways are pleasant ways,
and all her paths are peace.
18 She is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
those who lay hold of her will be blessed.
(That was a long list of reasons to love wisdom that I receive from being disciplined.)
19 By wisdom the LORD laid the earth’s foundations,
by understanding he set the heavens in place;
20 by his knowledge the deeps were divided,
and the clouds let drop the dew.
(And with this new wisdom, what should we do?)
21 My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment,
do not let them out of your sight;
22 they will be life for you,
an ornament to grace your neck.
23 Then you will go on your way in safety,
and your foot will not stumble;
24 when you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
(Despite our discipline, we can still have confidence...)
25 Have no fear of sudden disaster
or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
26 for the LORD will be your confidence
and will keep your foot from being snared.
His wisdom is beyond anything a human could create, is it not?! I am in awe! My friends, I have gained wisdom from being disciplined that I will never forget, and I have also experienced what it means to receive God's mercy -- I was certainly not given what I really "deserved" for my sin. I experienced the promise that God's mercies are new every morning! Great is His faithfulness! I don't even have to wallow in my shame because Christ has paid for this very sin, and I am forgiven. Those were some great life lessons and precious reminders. More than anything, He removed my bitterness, and I am no longer stuck in the muck that I could not escape by my own doing.
If you are stuck in the muck of your own circumstances or a particular situation, I encourage you to start praying. Let God be the one to soften your heart and give you the courage to go ask for forgiveness. He WILL do it! And what a relief to know that you don't have to do it by your own power (because you never can).
I am looking forward to meeting with you again in the mornings! Tomorrow we will finally wrap up 1 Peter. His mercies are new, and so we will begin again on this Psalm 1 Walk without shame but in His freedom and love. Hallelujah!
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