"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Well, here we are again. The Monroe Family output is more than its input this month. I didn't think we'd be this tight again for a really long time. I can remember the last time we felt like this: it was about 18 months ago. Josh had just changed jobs, and I was waiting for a permanent spot at the school where I was teaching, which was supposed to be coming up at the end of March. We were living off of my little daily wage. Then, I was told that they weren't going to fill my spot -- at the end of the month I would be unemployed...again. I needed gas for my car, so I went to fill up but my card was declined. I went to the bank to put in the small check I had received from tutoring, but apparently we were already in the black, because even after putting the check in, we only had positive 53 cents. Fifty-three cents! That was all we had between the two of us! I immediately pulled into the parking lot and bawled for about three hours. Life was piling up, and I could not get out from underneath it. Why couldn't I trust that God would take care of me?
The next day, we received our tax refund check in the mail. It was later than we'd expected; yet, God knew His timing. Three days later, I was also hired full-time with the school system...at last! That's not to say I didn't have to do a little fighting on my own behalf, but I was hired nonetheless. I remember feeling foolish because I hadn't trusted God even when the fire was getting hot. Isn't that the goal? To stay faithful to God even when our circumstances fit into some form of the word suffering? I am sad to say that faithfulness was not my immediate response. So, I learned my lesson, and I keep that little bank receipt that says fifty-three cents in my journal, and Josh and I will say to each other "fifty-three cents" when things are getting tight from our perspective because we know God will provide. He always does! Yet how quickly I forget.
I had forgotten. It's been 18 months, and I think it's safe to say that Josh and I were beginning to feel pretty self-sufficient. Until three weeks ago. Three weeks ago, we had some major expenses...some expected and some unexpected. Regardless, I find myself in the same spot as I was 18 months ago, but thankfully, not once have either of us doubted God's provision this time. We are choosing to remember what He taught us last time. It sure is humbling though, and that's okay, because I really could use a good dose of humbling most days. God has provided again, but this time around it's without all of our anxiety and worry before His provisions come. My sister Haley is living with us and pays us for the food she eats here, and if it weren't for her, I also would have run out of gas on the way home last night. So, let us not think that God is always going to provide in the way of some big fireworks show...last night, God provided when I asked Haley to borrow $10 and she very willingly said 'sure!'. She also paid for my dinner.
Finally, Pay Day is today. We made it through a really tight month, and once these bills get paid, it looks like next month is going to be equally as tight until we can get all caught up. But what my former sufferings have taught me about God is that He is faithful, good, and loving, and He WILL provide for our needs (and sometimes even our wants...like my Jimmy Johns dinner last night). We have nothing to fear, my friends. Nothing! Not even death. Our pride may be hurt, but that's not a bad thing. Our comfort may be stretched, but that's not a bad thing. In the meantime, our faith in God and our capacity for compassion will increase.
The passage above starts with "Therefore." If we look in the verses previous, we see the passage from yesterday on Our Treasure. Putting these two passages together, we get the bigger picture: when we get our perspective on our treasures right, we will have reason to not be anxious. We will have peace.
I can't urge you enough, dear people. Trust Him! He will not fail you. In the midst of your turmoil, He will change you if you draw closer to Him. What you are going through right now is for your benefit because of His great love for you. That's the truth. So whatever it is, you need not be anxious. Your God can do a lot with just fifty-three cents.
You are growing in the faith!
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