1 Corinthians 3:18-23 (Candle)

"Stop deceiving yourselves. If you think you are wise by this world’s standards, you need to become a fool to be truly wise. ¹⁹ For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say,
   “He traps the wise
      in the snare of their own cleverness.”
 ²⁰ And again,
   “The LORD knows the thoughts of the wise;
      he knows they are worthless.”
 ²¹ So don’t boast about following a particular human leader. For everything belongs to you— ²² whether Paul or Apollos or Peter, or the world, or life and death, or the present and the future. Everything belongs to you, ²³ and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God."

May I be honest with you?  I am really struggling right now.  I'm struggling because there is SO much information out there.  I am literally losing sleep over the fact that I feel pulled in multiple directions when it comes to Truth these days.  Do you ever feel that way?

More than anything, I just want to do what is right in God's eyes.  I want Him to see me and the deepest recesses of my heart and know that I am a woman after His own heart.  I want to love people the way He does and I also want to honor and obey Him -- even if that makes me "unpopular" with certain people.  But right now I am in a war of the mind.  Just the other day, I thought I had my finger on one particular issue that I've been struggling with as it relates to Christianity, and then yesterday, I received a book in the mail that a dear friend wants me to read, and just by reading the back cover and the first few pages, I think it is only going to add to this crazy ride that I'm currently enduring.

So, I was interested to see that today's Scripture is about being wise!  It says, "Stop deceiving yourselves. If you think you are wise by this world’s standards, you need to become a fool to be truly wise."  If a wise person has a lot of knowlegde, then perhaps the fool is the one who can say, "You know what...I don't know it all right now.  I have questions, too, and I'm okay with that."  Let me tell you, it's not a very lovely place to be.  I don't like that I have some unanswered questions right now.  I don't like that my ideologies and theologies don't all fit neatly in little boxes with bows on top right now.  Instead, my ideologies and theologies look more like a post-Christmas morning scene: boxes open with the tops flung on the floor, shreds of paper and ribbon every where, and the gift itself seems to be draped part-way in and part-way out of the box.  Again, not lovely and neat and easy to hold.

But what I know I don't want is the wisdom of the world, because “'He traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness.' And again, 'The LORD knows the thoughts of the wise; he knows they are worthless.' ”  I don't want to be trapped and ensnared because of some line of clever but worthless thinking.  I want to know the Truth.  Truth that comes from God Himself.  So to me, the battle and the un-lovliness of it all is worth it.  The battle and struggle are worth it to know Truth.

I want to be open to reading the Bible exegetically, or in an attempt to discover the meaning of the text objectively by starting with the text and moving out from there, instead of eisegesisly by starting with an idea or conviction and searching for verses in the Bible to prove your point because we all can do that.  Every single one of us, Christian and non-Christian, can use the Bible to prove our points, and yet, we can't all be "right," can we?  But there is Truth to be found when we read the Bible as a whole, and not just in snippets.

So, I am reading lots of the Bible, not just picking certain parts to read in an effort to discover Truth for myself, and not just believing all that I've been told all my life.  Now, before my family and friends think I've gone nuts...let me say that Jesus Christ will never change, but some of my ideologies might.  Perhaps in the process, I will discover some things about myself that I have thought incorrectly on all these years, and I need to be able to humbly admit that.  That's certainly not fun for any of us when we want to be seen as "wise" is it?  I hope every  person reading this blog today can say that they are willing to be wrong.  There is no possible way that any one of us has it all right.  We are not Christ; therefore, it is very possible that something we believe could be incorrect. 

I've been afraid to take this journey before now.  I was afraid that I would be wrong, but now I am willing to admit that quite often, I am!  I just want to know Truth.  Perhaps this journey will bring me back to places where I have been along...and that's great.  And perhaps this journey will take me to new and better places in my understanding of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, and if that's the case, the pain of being wrong, of losing sleep, and of my mind-consuming questions would be worth it.


 ²¹ "So don’t boast about following a particular human leader. For everything belongs to you— ²² whether Paul or Apollos or Peter, or the world, or life and death, or the present and the future..."  In the meantime, while I'm figuring this out, and even when I have it all figured out, my focus, pride, and identity shouldn't come from the leaders I follow and spouting off the names of the authors I read, or what I believe about this or that.  Because all of it, everything around me, is a gift from God to me.  There is good in a lot of places if we could just stop and allow ourselves to see it with a fresh perspective, God's perspective.

"...and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God."  And most importantly, the only One I need to be concerned about is Christ.  I know people will always ask me what I believe about this topic or that one, but the most important thing is Christ.  Do I know what He did for me?  Do I know His love for me, and can I give that love to everyone...every single one? 

The other day, Josh and I had one of our pastors and his wife over for dinner.  I respect this man a whole lot.  As we were talking about theological things, I asked Him with tears in my eyes, "Jim, how do I know if God is pleased with me?  I just want to do the Right thing and live to honor Him?"  Jim, the ultimate story teller, silently got up from the table (we all looked around wondering who had offended him).  Instead, he went around the entire first floor, turning off every light.  He came back to the dining room and blew out one of the candles on the dining room table, so that there was just one candle burning.  He asked me some wonderful questions, questions that I would do a dis-service to if I tried to remember exaclty what he said.  His point being that that one candle affected the entire darkness.  It didn't have to go DO anything, but just by being a candle, it could be seen anywhere in that large, dark room, and in fact, our eyes were drawn TO it.  He said, "Molly, are you living as a light?  If you are, you are affecting the darkness."

I want to be really deep and theological and have lots of degrees.  But I don't.  Instead, I am reading Scripture, trying to live like Christ and honor God, and praying that the Holy Spirit will work in me so that I can affect the darkness for Him.  That's all.

Do I still have big questions?  Yes.  Lots of them right now.  But I'm becoming more comfortable this morning with just sitting in them for a bit.  There's no rush to answer them all today.  Instead, I'm going to continue to focus on Christ...and on being His light in this dark world.