2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (Picking a Mate)

¹⁴ Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? ¹⁵ What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? ¹⁶ And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said:

“I will live in them
    and walk among them.
I will be their God,
    and they will be my people.

When it comes to finding a spouse, there are two sayings that I really have come to love.  The first is the idea that "You don't need to be married until you don't need to be married."  Stop.  Think about it.  Read it again.  Marinate.  Basically, what it's saying is that by using all of our time and attention to find a mate, we have placed that mate-finding as the most important thing -- it has become an idol to us.  What if instead, we find that we have come to a place where we can say, "You know what, Lord?  I don't need to be married to find fulfillment or value or purpose.  If I never get married, that's okay.  I know that there are many other good and fulfilling things apart from marriage, especially if I have You."  Now that is a person who is mature enough for marriage -- they are confident in who they are as God made them (an individual) and will have a healthy perspective on what marriage is and what it is not.  God absolutely created us to want to be married.  He made marriage, so marriage is a great thing!  But it loses its greatness when it has become our ultimate thing.  Nothing can take that place in our lives but God Himself.

The other idea I like is a picture that was told to me in high school about whether or not someone is a "good pick" regardless of if you're just dating or looking toward marriage.  The picture is this image that we are running a race (the race of life), and if we are trying to be linked to someone running behind us (so we're always looking back trying to get them to catch up) or way in front of us (and we're always striving to somehow catch up to them), that is not a "team".  Instead, we should be running along right where are are, looking in the direction of where we want to go and who we want to become; and as we are running along there, we look next to us and see someone who is right with us already -- we smile, say, "oh, you're going this way, too?" and decide to link up and continue together in the race of life in the direction we were already going.  We aren't trying to change the person's mind to get them to catch up to us, slow down for us, or turn a direction they weren't already planning to go.

And though is might seem simple or silly, that is what this verse is talking about!  It doesn't work to  try to link elbows with someone who is not beside us -- be that spiritually, emotionally, or priority-ally.  It just doesn't work!  And the foundation of that is whether the person is a Christian or not.   If we follow Christ and make all decisions based on the Bible and what Christ would have us do, we cannot possibly fool ourselves into believing that someone who attends church only on Easter and Christmas is going to be equally yoked with us.  That's not being self-righteous or judgmental -- that's being wise!   We are in for a long, tumultuous road if we decide to link ourselves for the rest of our lives with someone who does not share our convictions and beliefs and our God, and the Lord knows that, so He's trying to show us how to choose the right partner for this journey.

The most powerful picture from these verses though is one Scripture uses.  It says, "And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people."  As believers, we are not just bodies -- we are the dwelling place of God.  We are to be kept pure for Him.  We want to be as perfect for God as we can be out of respect for Him!


Listen to these words, and heed this advice.  It comes from your Father who loves you and wants what is best for you.  Be patient, and just keep running the race confidently as you continue to grow yourself in Christ.  And as you do, just keep looking to your right or left and see who's there with you already, then flash that pearly smile...and the rest is matrimony...I mean...