Ecclesiastes 8:7-8 (White Knuckles)

Right now, I could tell you about three or four major things in my life that could easily keep me awake at night.  Perhaps for you, some of those major things might be subjects we find in our verses for today: a horrible boss, your future, the wars of our country (both physical and hypothetical), or death -- perhaps yours or someone else's that you love.

But I didn't lose sleep last night.  In fact, I might have slept a little too well.  Know why?  Because all those things are out of my control.

I'm learning this lesson in a major way right now.  See, in the last couple years, just when I thought I'd recovered from the loss of my mom, I lost more people.  No one close to me has died since then, thankfully, but a handful of my favorites have moved out of state -- including a couple friends and two of my three sisters.  Those moves have hit me HARD. 

My biggest fear before losing my mom to cancer was the death of a parent, and then she died.  So, I have tried really hard since then to barricade myself with a wall of friends who I knew would never "leave me"...and then they left.

And they should leave -- they were leaving for great jobs and great graduate schools and great spouses, and those are all great reasons to leave.  Yet, here I now found myself without them.  And feeling somewhat betrayed.  But they weren't leaving me, they were going to these great things.  Why do I always have to make it about me?

Regardless, I cried.  I pouted to myself.  I thought our relationships would be over forever.  I'm not a phone person, so if we can't just meet up for a cup of coffee on the spur of the moment, then clearly, we aren't going to be able to stay friends! 

But God, in his ever-gentle way, has been teaching me how to slowly release the white-knuckle grip I mentally have on the people around me that I love and has been reminding me that I have no control over what other people choose to do, and for goodness sake, Molly, their moves really have very little to do with you.

And so it is with horrible bosses, friends and family who move away, our future, and death and war:

⁷ Since no one knows the future,
    who can tell someone else what is to come?
⁸ As no one has power over the wind to contain it,
    so no one has power over the time of their death.
As no one is discharged in time of war,
    so wickedness will not release those who practice it.

There are many things which we cannot control, for none of us has any power to contain the decisions of others, and to lose sleep over them is futile -- we just wake up less rested, more grumpy, and less productive the next day.  Instead, in these things, can we take all that we have learned in Ecclesiastes so far, and entrust these things to our loving and good God?  If the results of these things depended on me, I'd be worried sick.  But it's not up to me, it's up to God.  And He is a lot more dependable than me anyway.

So, here's what I know I can control:  I read my Bible this morning and am trying to live by it.  I have and will love my husband today and try to serve and honor him.  I haven't slandered anybody yet today.  I gave my dog and cat some attention.  I am going to go to work and do my job the best that I can.  Later today, I'm going to call some of those people I love who have moved away and let them know that I'm thinking about them and miss them.  

I'm happy and yet I've got struggles (and that's just one of them).  We all do.  And these things are on my mind, yes, but they don't weigh me down, because I'm trusting God with them.  This is not a passive approach to life, but rather a conscious decision to surrender to the fact that I am not God, but I do trust The One who is.  He directs the wind, not me.

As one author puts it, "I know who holds tomorrow even if I don't know what tomorrow holds."

Do you believe the same?

Molly Monroe