Perhaps you've read this verse many times before. I certainly have. But this verse has begun to take on a new meaning to me in the past year. I come from a very close family -- a mom and a dad who loved me and three younger sisters. Complete strangers could tell we were sisters, and even two hours away from where I live a former student once told my sister Haley that she looked a lot like her teacher (me). Really, it was unreal.
We were and still are a very close family. But I soon started to realize after getting married, then losing my mom, then moving in with the family for a few months while we house-hunted, and only to move out months later, that a large my identity was and had remained unhealthily McCracken not Monroe.
Family is a gift from God. That is for sure, and I would not trade my family for anything! My sisters and I have moved out of the arguing stages of childhood and are now dear friends. That is a gift. But during the course of all these major life events (listed above), and those are just a sampling, the Lord has used these events to draw me closer to my husband -- emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally. God knows His design. He knows that the way He planned for us to live is absolutely, 100%, ALWAYS the best way to live. There has been some purpose in my pain; I can see that now. Interestingly enough, I'm learning that sure, we don't worship golden idols anymore, but my family had begun to become an idol to me. Timothy Keller, in his book, Counterfeit Gods, says, "If we look to some created thing to give us the meaning, hope, and happiness that only God can give, it will eventually fail to deliver and break our hearts." My family had become an idol.
As relationships change in my family of origin, and people marry so that others join our family, and my family home begins to look different, and my mom is no longer there to treat me like her little girl and take care of me, I sense God saying to me, Molly, let all of that go. This is why I designed it the way I did. It's time to forget what is behind and begin moving toward what is ahead -- in your home with Josh. He is your family now. He is the one who you make decisions with and whom you love, serve, and share life with the most. More than anyone in your life, even your children someday. Cling to him, and enjoy your home with him. I certainly don't want to put Josh up on idol-status either, because I want God to come first in my life. Always. But I do want to honor God by following His design for marriage.
Also one other note. The verses in here on submission tend to get people a little riled up. In my Bible, this section today is under the heading Wives and Husbands and it starts at verse 22. But keep in mind that those little headers are not in the original text. They were added later. So if we read the book of Ephesians as one long continuous letter, verse 21 comes right before verse 22 and says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." This verse is not gender-specific. We are all called to submit to everyone! But I think the Lord knows how we are wired, and the verses following give some specific examples on how to submit to and serve one another (this is from The Message), starting at verse 22:
"Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. 25-28Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.
29-33No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband."
If we are BOTH loving, serving, and putting the other's needs before our own, this is an absolutely beautiful picture of what God's design is for us. It is certainly something worth leaving your father and mother, your brothers and sisters for. In this form, the word 'submit to your husband' never makes me cringe. In fact, it's a pleasure.
Points to remember:
1. God first. Always.
2. Husband next.
3. Then children.
4. Then extended family.
Today was a bit of a mixed bag, but thank you for letting me share what I'm learning. I could've said a whole lot more on these subjects. Hopefully, I can be a little more concise tomorrow. Have a great Tuesday. :)
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