"1 What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? 2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. 3 And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure." (NLT)
How is your satisfaction level today? Are you content with where you are, what you have, and where you're going? I can tell you that many days, I am not. I can be jealous of what other people have...really jealous. I can be looking ahead toward the 'next big thing', maybe that's more education or the new bedroom suite that I'm sure would make all my troubles go away. Yet, we know that this isn't true. A friend of mine who recently got his MBA told me that in class they told him the consumer's satisfaction, even for major purchases like a new car, would last on average only two weeks before they already start to dream about the next one!
God has been showing me that I am struggling not only with my contentedness, but also with my expectations. If my expectations were/are not met, then I cannot be content.
We were on a short trip recently, and I had a plan in mind of how the weekend was going to go. Looking back, I see that I was setting myself up for failure, but nevertheless, I was expecting it would go one way (and this particular way revolved all around me, of course) and when it didn't go that way, I was absolutely miserable to be around!
As I read the verses this morning, the following kept popping out to me, "You want what you don't have, so...". What is it for you? When you want what you don't have, you _______. What is the "so" for you? Do you scheme and manipulate, as verse 2 suggests? Do you kill, or as some translations say, hate others until you can get it? Do you fight with people verbally or physically? Or maybe you wage war on your family, friends, or spouse until you get what you want? I was waging some major war that day, though most of it seemed to be inside my heart. No one else was feeling the absolute turmoil I was because my expectations were not met! Just me. But they were having to deal with my attitude, and the "evil desires at war within [me]" (verse 10).
But it hasn't been only on the trip. I have had unmet expectations in many areas recently. Have you? Maybe a friend doesn't reach out to you as much as you think she should; maybe a friend or family member is seeing someone you wouldn't pick for them; maybe the money coming in is not what you thought it would be by now; maybe people are moving away who you care about; maybe your job is not going exactly as you were told it would; or maybe even someone has died that you did not expect. Whatever it is, James tells us that "You don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it." That is our first step. We need to talk to God about it. Just tell Him about it first, and then ask Him for what you want and desire for yourself in this. Do you want to feel content in your current situation? Ask God to give you His peace. Ask Him for wisdom beyond what you would naturally have in this circumstance. Ask Him for what He thinks you need to get through this season.
And be careful not to fall into the trap of asking for your earthly wants. God loves to bless His children, even in the little things. I truly believe this! However, He is ultimately more concerned about your heart and what you NEED. Verse 3 says, "And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure." The Bible is misquoted so often when people say, "Well, the Bible says that God wants us to be happy." No! That verse does not exist in the Bible, I'm sorry to say. But, my friends, God didn't come to make us happy; He came to make us Holy. He is going to work IN your current circumstances, not once you are OUT of them. Ask Him for what He desires you have to make you more holy, not happy. Remember, He loves you, and we can trust whatever comes from His hand.
As I was sitting in my mopey-ness that weekend, I thought to myself in my deep distress, "well, if I can't count on these people, what can I count on?" And oh my gosh, if it wasn't God Himself speaking to me so loudly and clearly! Molly, I am the One you can count on. Everyone and everything else may fail you, but I will not. Trust in Me. I am the only thing in this world that is Sure.
Do you want something to count on? That day, I sure did. We have one thing that is sure every moment of every day: Jesus. And here is the promise in Matthew 6:33, "Your heavenly father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.”
So whatever happens that might broad-side you today, and you have no idea what that is right now, that's okay. When it happens, you can live assuredly. God already knows what will happen today, tomorrow, and ten years from now, and He will give us all we need when the time comes. Release all of your expectations to Him, and live in His freedom and protection.
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