15 "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."
This passage is powerful, and something I believe, from my own observations and experiences, that the church is currently getting SO wrong!
The first twelve words are, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault..." Wait, what?! You mean to tell me I don't have to wait for him (or her) to come and ask for forgiveness? That's correct! The Bible says it very plainly right here: you. go.
(Let me be clear, this does only apply to other Believers because the Bible is also very clear that non-beleivers are not held to the same standard since they do not have the Holy Spirit). Jesus takes His Church so seriously that He does not want any unforgiveness or past hurts getting in the way of the work He wants to do IN your life and WITH your life and the lives of the people in The Church. The Bible is full of scripture on forgiveness, and we are constantly commanded to confess our sins to one another, but let us be clear, that the Bible also commands us to go and ask someone else to repent. But check your heart first. The purpose is never to make OURSELVES feel better or gain an apology. Our purpose must be out of love for OTHERS.
So, why would we do that? Why would we go ask someone ELSE to repent? I can think of a few reasons...
1) Out of love for the other person because we want them to be in right standing with God. We are called to hold each other up to a higher standard in Christ. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:7).
2) Out of love for other people that they may be hurting. “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy" (Proverbs 31:8-9).
3) If the offense is bothering you in your soul so badly and you can't seem to shake it. It has begun impacting your relationship to God and to others. "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother" (Matt. 18:15).
Of course, we are also called to forgive people in our hearts even if they haven't confessed to us,
"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins" (Mark 11:25). In this case, if you're in the middle of a prayer, you may not be able to hear "Will you forgive me?" from your your friend, but we must have an attitude of forgiveness in our hearts regardless! There may be people who NEVER ask us to forgive them, or when we confront them, they refuse. However, unforgiveness rots us slowly and over time. We need to also remember in these times to let God be the judge -- their payment is not ours to decide. But God is a righteous judge, and we can trust that He will take care of it!
And God SO desires forgiveness and hearts at peace among the Church, that if just one person confronting doesn't work, you take more! Look at the next few verses: "But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." This is not something that Jesus meant for them way back then -- He means these words for us!
Why don't we do this more? Well, we think, it's really none of my business. Or, that would be rude! Or, wow, that would be so awkward! But no! Jesus is saying, that IS your business if you LOVE them and want what is best for them. It's not rude at all! The only thing awkward about it is if you don't have THEIR best interest in your mind. If you do have their best in mind, it is the most loving thing you could do! I think the real problem is that we have a Fear of Man. We don't want to be seen by other people as being _______. What? What is that blank for you, my friend? Why can the Church confront on all the little issues like music, church decor, and to use or ditch the hymnal, but in matters of the heart, we run?
Instead, we need to fear and honor God by doing what He commands us to do. His is the perfect way!
Look at verse 18: "Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven," or as the Message puts it, "Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal." It's ETERNAL. Matters of the heart are a big deal. Don't allow satan to convince you that they're not! If something is stirring in your soul today, take care of it. Go to your fellow Believing friend, sister, co-worker, brother, parent, spouse. Tell them your concern for them (not what they did TO you).
May we all sharpen one another, and be a healthier, stronger, more powerful family of God for the sake of the gospel and our example to this world!
And if someone comes to us in the same way, may we be ready to confess to them in humilty and love for Jesus Christ.
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