Matthew 19:1-12 (Divorce)

¹ When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. ² Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.  ³ Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
   ⁴ “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ ⁵ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? ⁶ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
 ⁷ “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
 ⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. ⁹ I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
 ¹⁰ The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
 ¹¹ Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. ¹² For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

I don't have to tell you that divorce is the end of most marriages, and by most, I mean more than 50%.  Of the people who got married this weekend, half of those marriages will not make it, including the people who are marrying for the second, third, or fourth time.  In fact, the number of failed marriages goes up the more times people get married, which shows me that it wasn't the "other" person who was the problem. 

In our culture, women especially feel that they don't have worth unless they are married.  Marriage means you are wanted when you live in the United States. But marriage is not designed to make us happy.  I see that absolutely no where in this monologue on marriage that Jesus Himself gives.  The purpose is that they would become one -- they would be unified -- for the glory of God (vs. 5)!  And in their covenant of marriage, God the Father has personally joined them together according to verse six!  As Jesus continues His boundaries for marriage and divorce, the disciples conclude, well then, if this is the way it's going to be, it's better for us to not get married!  To which I want to say a resounding YES!  Marriage is not easy -- it's not just something we can turn in when we're tired of it or tired of working on it or tired of not having our needs met by our husband or wife.  This covenant is a big deal.  But I can promise you this, if you stick it out and remain faithful to God, you will be blessed!  But may I caution you who are engaged or are single and wish you were engaged...marriage does not solve your problems.  Marriage highlights the problems that are already in YOU.  Perhaps, we Americans, should listen more intently to Jesus when He says, "The one who can accept this should accept it."  It is a good thing...if and when you follow God's design for marriage.

If you are wavering on whether to marry a particular person, I urge you to think about more than just a beautiful wedding day.  Think about the two of you when one of you loses their job, one of you has a long season of dealing with addiction, one of you "checks out" for a while, one of you feels more alone than when you were single, or one of you gets a terminal illness.  Can you really marry that person for better or for worse? 

And for those of you in those seasons right now with your spouse, I commend your faithfulness.  "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged" (Deut. 31:8).  He will not abandon you in your fight for what He has joined together!  "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD" (Ps. 27:14).  You simply remain faithful to God, faithful in prayer, and faithful to love your spouse as you WAIT for Him...He is the one who will have to do the work in your spouse.  Not you.  Wait for Him, my friend.  In the meantime, I pray that you sense the work the Lord is doing in your own heart.  Our pain is never wasted, dear one.